| I started smoking cigarettes in an effort to be more healthy and other good advice |
[31 Dec 2006|04:04am] |
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Pink Floyd: Time |
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Lately things have been so crazy that I’m practically mixing up my dreams with reality. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing though, its just a strange thing. And yeah, I figure if I’m going to smoke 5 or 6 packs of something every week its better to smoke cigarettes than cloves. Therefore yes, I am more healthy. I’m sure if I ever saw him my doctor would be so proud.
Here are some rules to live by, compliments of George Carlin & featuring one of my favorite forms of humor, sarcasm:
1. Relax and take it easy. Don’t get caught up in hollow conceits such as “doing something with your life.” Such twaddle is outmoded and a sure formula for disappointment.
2. Size up people quickly, and develop rigid attitudes based on your first impression. If you try to delve deeper and get to “know” people, you’re asking for trouble.
3. Don’t fall for that superstitious nonsense about treating people the way you would like to be treated. It is a transparently narcissistic approach, and may be the sign of a weak mind.
4. Surround yourself with inferiors and losers. Not only will you look good by comparison, but they will look up to you, and that will make you feel better.
5. Don’t buy into the sentimental notion that everyone has shortcomings; it’s the surest way of undermining yourself. Remember, the really best people have no defects. If you’re not perfect, something is wrong.
6. Beware of intuition and gut instincts, they are completely unreliable. Instead, develop preconceived notions and don’t waver unless someone tells you to. Then change your mind and adopt their point of view. But only if they seem to know what they’re talking about.
7. Always remember, today doesn’t count. Trying to make something out of today only robs you of precious time that could be spent daydreaming or resting up.
8. Try to dwell on the past. Think of all the mistakes you’ve made, and how much better it would be if you hadn’t made them. Think of what you should have done, and blame yourself for not doing so. And don’t go easy. Be really hard on yourself.
9. Beware also of the dangerous trap of looking ahead; it will only get you in trouble. Instead, try to drift along from day to day in a meandering fashion. Don’t get sidetracked with some foolish “plan.”
I have also learned some things this year. I guess its not really a good year unless you are able to learn something and gain a bit of wisdom. Some are serious and some are funny. I think its worth a read.
1. It sucks to regret things you have done but its worse to regret things you haven’t done and wish you had.
2. If you’re planning to go out and get totally wasted in a city you aren’t familiar with and take a cab back to wherever you’re staying, just write down the address you need to be brought back to. Then, instead of telling the cab driver where you need to go, just ball up the piece of paper the address is written on and flick it at him. They love that.
3. Pursue what you really want. Don’t let the possibility of embarrassment or rejection stop you.
4. It’s really nice to get a drastic haircut to go along with drastic changes in your life. Maybe move around some furniture too.
5. If you drink more than a half gallon of 100 proof Southern Comfort in less than a week you might get kinda tired of it.
6. No matter how much you believe you are right, there are always exceptions to the rule and to assume anything is a very unwise idea.
7. Eat more Indian food because it tastes damn good.
8. It’s not that hard to grow pot but don’t let the cats get to it. They’ll totally chew the leaves up, which will slow down the plants’ growth. And sunlight works best.
9. Common sense and self control are priceless. They keep you a balanced person.
10. If you’re having trouble making a decision, even if its really important, just flip a coin. Don’t go by the first flip though, you have to do at least best out of 3. If nothing else you’ll find yourself subconsciously hoping the coin will land on a certain side, therefore making you realize what you really want.
11. Keep a journal and write in it when something significant to you happens. Date the entries and you can read back through your experiences and learn from yourself. Perspective is a wonderful thing.
12. The little things in life can make a huge difference when they are all added up.
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| Dreams |
[05 Dec 2006|12:20am] |
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Last night I had a dream that I rearranged my teeth with some needle nose plyers. I pulled 2 teeth down to look like fangs and made the rest all crooked. I thought it looked really good (in the dream). Thats not even anywhere near the strangest dream I've had. I have a notebook I write down dreams in, but only the ones that are particularly interesting and weird. It's really entertaining to read back through the notebook at past dreams. I find that as I'm reading the summary I remember tiny details that I didn't write down at the time, even years later. Most of my dreams have pretty complicated plots so every now and then when I'm bored and I can't find any good books to read I will get out my dream notebook and read through that.
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[20 Nov 2006|04:49am] |
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James Spader is insanely sexy
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| ding dong the witch is dead |
[08 Nov 2006|07:11pm] |
Today was a great day for American politics. In the last 24 hours the Democrats won control of the House of Representatives, will most likely gain control of the Senate once the votes in Virginia are double checked, and drum roll.....Donald Rumsfeld resigns! Another great thing is that the new speaker of the House is Nancy Pelosi, and she will be the first woman to ever hold this position, making her the most powerful woman in US history. She is not a fan of the President and has referred to him as 'an incompetent leader' and 'irresponsible'. I think all these new changes will be very beneficial to the US and will improve foreign relations, making the changes also beneficial to people who are not Americans.
Locally, it was more crowded yesterday at the polls than Ive ever seen it. Nearly everything that was important to me won, with the exception of proposal 2 passing.
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| Chicago. |
[01 Oct 2006|10:50pm] |
Well I just got back from Chicago. It was fun but Im tired. We stayed at a different place every night. I went out Thursday night and took a cab back to where I was staying and like an idiot I left my wallet in the cab or it fell on the street as I was getting out; Im not sure which. I didnt realize it was gone until the next afternoon, so I got mad at myself, canceled my credit card, and figured I would never see it again. However, when my brother called our house to check the voicemail there was a message for me from a friend who got a call from the guy that found my wallet. He found her number on a piece of paper in the wallet. She left his name and number so I called him and arranged to pick it up later that night. When I got it back there was no cash in it, so that means I lost like $50 :( but everything else was there. I was surprised to get anything back at all and its nice to know that there are some people who will go out of their way to help someone they dont even know. So that guy gets good karma in my book.
The wedding was Saturday night and was pretty non-traditional, since thats how the couple getting married is. There was no maid of honor, no church, no throwing of the bouquet, which is all fine with me. The reception was very elegant. I love going to wedding receptions because sometimes I just like having four glasses and three forks all to myself :)
Tomorrow its back to looking for a job, ick.
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| I quit my new job. |
[28 Sep 2006|03:47am] |
Yes, today I called the guy that hired me and told him I didnt want to work there anymore. So next week I will go pick up the token amount I was paid. It was only 2 days but it feel like 2 monthes. I have decided a good way to describe the people that go there is Carl from Aqua Teen. I have never quit a job before, so now at least I can say that I havent been fired from every job.
Tomorrow I am going to Chicago for a wedding. I guess Im looking forward to it.
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| I hate my new job. |
[25 Sep 2006|03:45am] |
Yes, I hate it so much. Today was my first day; 10 hours. Im grateful I was finally able to find something but Im going to continue looking for a job so I can quit this one. Its a bartending job at a small neighborhood type bar. At first I thought it was cool I was going to get to be a bartender, but really its not. The people I work with are alright. The girl that was supposed to train me was very nice but she kinda just went about her night as she normally would so I didnt learn as much as I was hoping. And during training I make hardly any money. Since the majority of their money is made through tips and while in training you dont get tips, its shit money.
The two things I hate the most are 1. cooking and 2. the customers
1. Eeeewwwww cooking. I have to cook hamburgers, fries, etc. and all that kind of bar food. The grill is already totally disgusting. Being a vegetarian I find it doubly repulsive. The sickening half-frozen meat sizzles and excretes its stink into the air I am trying to breathe. (maybe thats a little dramatic but its seriously disgusting, even if youre not vegetarian) Oh wow I cant wait for fish fry day.
2. The people suck ass. Its mostly a bunch of drunken male rednecks. You know, the kind of guys you want to just fucking kick in the balls but you dont because they will smash your face in. A couple of them were very nice and polite to me, understanding it was my first day. The majority were assholes though. I spent most of the night trying to rate them on an 'asshole scale' I just made up in my head, and congratulations to them, I would give a 10 almost all around. I hope they impale themselves on a pool stick.
The most common question I was asked was "You got a kid?" They all seemed extremely surprised to learn that I was 23 and did not have even 1 kid yet.
I had to take out my lip piercing and do my make up different i.e. no make up, so all night I felt kinda out of my element and naked. I can only imagine the field day the rednecks would have had with me if I went there looking like I normally do. They would be all like "Uhhh.. you like satan and shit?" And I would probably shrug and say sure. And if my piercing was in I know I would have been asked my favorite question a million times: "So like, did that hurt?" Idiot. A fucking needle went through my face, of course it hurt. Its not like that pain lasts though, I mean I thought it would be common sense to know that.
I work another 10 hours tomorrow for barely any money, this is fantastic....
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[15 Sep 2006|04:52pm] |
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It's true. Trying to find a job is the hardest job you'll ever have.
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| Fetishgoths |
[08 Sep 2006|10:18pm] |
I'm the new moderator of ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) fetishgoths. Sign up if youre not already and feel free to post photos related to the fetish and/or goth scenes.
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| One Thousand White Women |
[02 Sep 2006|03:51am] |
I recently finished reading a book called ‘One Thousand White Women’ (Jim Fergus). It is a fiction book, though it is based off something that actually happened in 1854. At Fort Laramie in 1854 President Grant and the US army met with a Northern Cheyenne Chief who requested the gift of one thousand white women for his young warriors to help promote peace between the white man and the Native Americans. Because theirs is a matrilineal society all children are born into their mothers’ tribe, and this seemed to be the perfect means of assimilation to the Cheyennes.
Of course in reality the peace conference collapsed and the US army and the Cheyennes went their separate ways. In this fiction novel the US army agrees to send one thousand white women out west to the Cheyenne Tribe. Damn fine book, I must say. It combines a little bit of history with emotion, erotica, and the reality of what the white man forced the Native Americans into. Primal mannerisms of the Native Americans also ring true to our own current society. Ideas, sexuality, you name it, the Native Americans thought of it first. It is a book that really makes you think, what did it feel like to be in their position? Either the position of the Native Americans or of the white women who eventually fell in love with their Cheyenne husbands. It is written from the perspective of one of the white women sent. Most of them are what society at the time deemed misfits and failures, but today they would just be ordinary women. The woman telling the story was put in an insane asylum because she was said to have ‘immoral perversions’ or something like that, only because she had sex with one man (the father of her two children) before she was married. Very sad, and very real. I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking for an interesting intelligent new novel to read.
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| MTV get off the air |
[31 Aug 2006|11:35pm] |
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I recently moved back to my parents’ and they only get 3 tv channels. Unfortunately for me mtv2 is one of them. Their video music awards were on so I watched some of it. I regret this now. The music is awful. I think the best thing about the entire show was that Jack Black was hosting it and I think he’s kinda funny. The music coming out now is sooo bad I shouldn’t even call it music. There’s way too much rap with not enough soul and whats with all the ‘rock’ bands full of whiny little momma’s boys who get their hair done at fancy upscale salons? Oh, that’s so punk. Dress yourselves and comb your own hair, ya goddamn celebrities. And Jared Leto is in one of these whiny boy rock bands? What the fuck, I used to like him. Every time I turn the radio on my poor ears are assaulted by more of today’s shit music. What happened to good music like The Smiths, Nirvana, Lou Reed, Rage Against the Machine, Bob Marely, Bob Dylan, and The Doors just the name a few. Most of the music coming out now is only meant to sell records and make money. There’s no love, no anger, no anything behind the lyrics and the music they manufacture. MTV, you are the bane of music.
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| Another Stupid Law |
[21 Aug 2006|04:21pm] |
article-- Mich. Supreme Court rules blood test showing marijuana smoked weeks ago can be used in court.
Sometimes the ignorance of the people in power astounds me. Don't preach to me about how dangerous marijuana is when it is stastically proven that alcohol and even sleepiness are far more dangerous when it comes to driving. And if you want to lump marijuana into the drug category, the problems related to it pale in comparison to substances such as legal prescription drugs and yes, even aspirin. It's a plant. That's all. I cannot stand the condiscending attitude of so many of our elected officials. Seriously, get off your soap box. You are in power to serve the people, not tell them what their morals should be. And legislation like this is really just someone's idea of morals that are then sugarcoated as a law, using the fear tactic to wrap it up in a nice little package and sell it to the public. I'm not buying it.
This article came from Michigan NORML
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| people from the past |
[25 Jul 2006|06:18am] |
I have a tendency to lose touch with people I really like, or have known for a long time. Of course it doesnt help that I havent had a cell phone for 7 monthes. But I lose touch and then sometimes so much time has passed its almost awkward making contact again. But yay for me, twice in the past month now I have talked to old friends, including my best friend from 2nd grade till past high school who I havent talked to in over a year. It was nice finding out what shes been up to and not at all awkward as I predicted. We talked on the phone for several hours and it was exactly as it had always been. Like no time had passed at all. It was comforting to find out that nothing had changed, same mannerisms, same everything.
But yes, my habit of losing touch with people is probably one of the things that bothers me most about myself. Im sure it all stems from my remarkable ability to procrastinate and then justify to myself my reasons for not doing something. So now I need to at least try to maintain contact. Its harder when someone is far away, but thats still no excuse. Good talk. Im glad I finally forced myself to call.
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| Random things about me |
[18 Jul 2006|07:33am] |
Well, I am awake and bored, so I took this quiz from someone on my friends list and made some minor modifications. Feel free to read it and/or put it in your own journal.
. Never in my life have I: eaten an entire hamburger
. The last person I spoke to on the phone was: Patrick
. When I'm nervous I: tend to repeat myself, I think
. The last time I cried was: haha, like an hour ago. stupid nostalgia.
. The last compliment I got was: in one of the livejournal communities
. My hair: recently dyed black, long, with long bangs
. Something that makes me happy: when my cats play
. When I turn my head right: I see closed blinds with the morning sun trying to pry its way in. Blah, go away.
. I should be: sleeping
. Something I could do without: I hate to say the sun.. I know that technically it is vital to the survival of just about everything on Earth, but coulnt it just go away for about 20 hours a day?
. When I look down I see: boobs..and my keyboard
. If I were a character on Friends I'd be: yeah, Phoebe. I love how she says, 'Oh no' when something awful happens, like its not worth anything more than an 'Oh no'
. By this time next year: I would like to have a job people respect and admire me for
. I love: my 3 cats: Luciano, Walla-Walla, and Bing-Bang (the animal shelter named them so I kept their names) also my bf's cat Joe Jackson. They all play and fight together. Sometimes its like one of those cartoons where its just a big dustball of movement, fur flying out and such, haha.
. I have a hard time understanding: why people hurt animals, why countries must resort to violence to solve their problems. Everybody just smoke some pot and watch cartoons, sheesh.
. You know I like you if: hmm, Im very hard to read so I dont know
. If I won an award, the first person (people) I'd thank is (are): I dont know, but it wouldnt be God. Thats soooo cliche
. Take my advice: 1. seduce your lover by reading a book they like to them, 2. get a pet if you dont already have one, 3. Never, never say 'well at least it cant get any worse' cause it can, so so much.
. My ideal breakfast is: french toast or the buttermilk pancakes my Dad makes
. If you visit the place I grew up: You would see a totally normal suburban city. 10 minutes from Detroit, I know there are people here who are afraid to go to Detroit. But overall I like it here and the people are polite.
. Soon I plan on: I wish I knew
. The world couldn't do without: laughter and understanding
. The most recent thing I bought myself is: gas for my car
. The most recent thing someone bought for me was: some latex clothing
. My favorite band is : totally unfair question. Im just going to copy/paste my list -- The Smiths, Nirvana, Nine Inch Nails, Rage Against the Machine, Bad Religion, Pink Floyd, Portishead, The Doors, Flogging Molly, Sublime, Violent Femmes, Bob Marley, Ministry, Mindless Self Indulgence, The Misfits, Sisters of Mercy, Dead Can Dance, Cranberries, Massive Attack, Audioslave, Morphine, Cat Power, Death Cab for Cutie, Skinny Puppy
. The last song I heard is called : I dont know, but Billy Jean has been in my head for over 2 days. Its not bothering me yet. Perhaps I should see a doctor.
. Book you would recommend?: Venus in Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, Naked by David Sedaris, anything by George Carlin, the Marquis de Sade, and The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
. My family is: theyre alright I guess... one of my aunts brought jello shots and passed them around last x mas. And I love my Grandma. She is my favorite. Whenever there is a wedding she wears her pink feather boa and glitter.
. Something unique about your family: my Mom has 1 brown eye and 1 blue eye, and my 3rd or 4th cousin used to be on Baywatch
. What is your heritage: Mostly Welsh but also Irish, Dutch, French, and German
. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: I cant think of anything. Right now I think nature if right, just the birds fly.
. Last night I slept: quite splendidly and had an odd dream about a dominatrix conducting her activites in the mens bathroom at a campground. eeew
. Bad habit?: I procrastinate
. Something strange you did when you were a kid: haha well.... my friend Heather and I used to play dress up and pretend we were prostitutes working for a pimp named Hank. Kids do the darndest things.
. I love going to : Hellbound fetish parties, although I havent been in awhile
. If I ever go back to school: I would learn to be a vet tech
. Do you believe in yourself? just sometimes. It would be a lot more useful if I could choose those times....
. I'm wearing: pajamas
. Good actor and their best movie: Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Carribean and Angelina Jolie in Girl, Inturrupted. Not only are they hot, but they're also really good at getting into their characters.
. Celebrity that annoys you: Kathy Griffin, Ashton Kutcher, and Pauly Shore
. Tomorrow I am: going to pick my parents up at the airport then going to Windsor
. Favorite non-alcohol drink: blue kool aid or faygo red pop. oh yeah, water is good too :)
. Favorite alcohol drink: jack and coke or a margarita with no salt
. Favorite ice cream flavor: superman or mint chocolate chip
. I really want to learn: more Spanish since I have forgotten a lot since high school:( & how to take care of sick and hurt animals (I think i have the bedside manner thing down already)
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| Amongst the normals |
[08 Jul 2006|03:16am] |
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Tonight I hung out with my friend Xen. I haven't seen her in forever so it was great to catch up. We went to Boogie Fever and had fun observing the 'normal people' in their natural environment. Strange guys in khaki pants and button up shirts kept hitting on us, so we just pretended we were gay. Good times.
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[25 Jun 2006|06:41pm] |
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Im finally getting over my hangover from Friday. I went to city club and had 3 long islands. I should have known better, but I havent been there for so long I forgot how strong the drinks always are. Well, not really. I just wanted to get really drunk. And I did. And I paid for it the next day. This hangover however cannot hold a candle to the one I had a couple years ago on new years eve (also my birthday). I drove myself home from the party the next morning. I wasnt drunk anymore, but the beginnings of The Worst Hangover Ever were settling in. I ran in the house, threw my stuff on the floor, then ran to the bathroom to throw up. I thought maybe I would feel better if I took a bath so I did that without even bothering to take all of my clothes off. After about 20 minutes I crawled out of the bathub and threw up again. Thats when I decided it was a bad idea to go anywhere- even to the next room- without my bucket. Wise decision. I wont go into the details of how many times I threw up, but when my stomach was finally empty the dry heaves began. Ive never had them before or since. Its an awful feeling. I couldnt keep water or even ice chips down and as a result I became dehyrated which made me feel even worse. The next day I was able to drink a little water and the day after that I was able to eat a little food. In total The Hangover lasted about 4 or 5 days. Looking back, I think there must have been something else going on besides just a hangover because I know Ive had more to drink than I did on that night and nothing nearly as awful happened. Anyway, whenever I feel sick from a hangover now I just think back to the other one and I start feeling better.
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| Good to know I use my free time wisely... |
[26 Mar 2006|09:34pm] |
Look what I made!
The Evilution of Dick Cheney
<
I know its cliche, but at least I amused myself while making it. With all the heavy issues right now its nice to get some comic relief from Dick Cheney's hunting accident and the whole Isaac Hayes/South Park/Tom Cruise/Scientology conundrum. Not good publicity for the scientologists...they come off as humorless, blackmailing hypocrites.
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| Metro Times and Salon.com agree with me about Maxim |
[11 Feb 2006|04:12am] |
If you read my previous journal entry you know what I thought of the Maxim Superbowl party. As it turns out, sometimes speaking your mind and bitching about what you think is unfair can lead to more. Corporate bullshit takes a fall.
Link for Metro Times article written by another girl who was also cut:
here
Link for Salon.com summary written by Katharine Mieszkowski, Senior Writer:
here
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| The beautiful people, the beautiful people (according to MAXIM magazine) |
[05 Feb 2006|05:26am] |
I've been itching to write about this since earlier this evening:
I was hired way back before Christmas to work as a go-go dancer at the Maxim party in downtown Detroit. The party started at 9 and I had to be there at 4 for hair/make up. I hated the way they did my make up but oh well, it wasn't a huge deal. Then 10 minutes before the party begins they tell me I'm cut along with this other girl with cool blue and purple hair. And yesterday they cut someone for having piercings, even though all this was totally visible in the photos we all had to send in to get the job. I guess we weren't 'the beautiful people' they were looking for. The theme of the party was DETROIT ROCK CITY and they just cut the most interesting looking people to swap them for more tan blond girls. Way to go. Let's get rid of the girls that are already 'rock' or whatever and bring in some new ones and make them look all rock with hair/make up. They still paid me, and I hope it wasn't to keep my mouth shut cause I'm not gonna *evil grin*
I was going to go home after I got cut because I didn't want to walk around the party all by myself, but I found another girl who had also been cut to go down there with. I thought I was dancing all night so I didn't bring any extra clothes. All I had to wear was my plain black shirt and my old grey sweatpants. Yep, red carpet, fancy clothes and celebrities mixed in with me and my grey sweatpants.
Personally, I was way disappointed with just about everything about the party: the decorations, the set up, the music, the drink selection, and the shitty people, heh. I've been to raves that were way better than this. Crap music, all around. Some genious dj thought mixing an Usher song with Nirvana would sound good. It didn't. There were too many people crammed in a small space with narrow doorways and I couldn't even get my usual jack and coke...
And you know its not really a Detroit party until the fire alarm goes off and everyone has to go outside and stand in the snow :) Luckily that happened earlier in the evening before the party started. Soo... in conclusion fuck Maxim and their corporate bullshit and hey, if Maxim isn't to blame and its just the person representing them that is..well then that person just did a great injustice to the entire theme of the party, DETROIT ROCK CITY! Nice job. Morons. I hope all the people from out of town don't think all the girls from Detroit are tan and blond with big boobs. Cause we're not all like that. Some of us are different, even scary (boo!) to some people and you better not screw us over or we'll fuck you up. Bitch. *snaps fingers* (or at least we'll whine about it on the internet).
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| Bright headlights and jackasses, coming together to piss me off |
[04 Feb 2006|03:24am] |
Umm...is it 'Drive like an Asshole Day' cause it seems like it. I lost track of how many times I've been cut off today. Driving already makes me a bit nervous. If you haven't seen a photo of my car from June ( here it is ) That was the result of someone ignoring their stop sign and pulling out in front of me when I was going 50. It was scary as hell and I was finally getting over it when a couple weeks ago Patrick and I were on the freeway and someone cut off the car in front of me, so the car in front of me put on the brakes so the other person couldn't get in. Even though I wasn't tailgating I still lost control of the car (no ABS and wet roads) because of the sudden stop and it spun around about 180 degrees until we were facing the exact wrong way on the freeway taking up at least 2 lanes..I don't even want to know what could have happened if there were semis around. Anyway that scared me to death and now I am at a point where I am extremely suspicius of everyone driving and I keep waiting for someone to fuck up again so I can have another heart attack. Stresss.. Lucky for me no car accident today but everyone was still driving like morons. It seemed like everyone had their brights on for no reason. And to all the drunks driving home tonight in the fog: 1. Driving with your brights on does not make you any safer, it only makes you stick out even more..especially when you have your brights on and are driving 10 under the speed limit in the left lane 2. When its foggy brights just make it harder to see. K I think I'm done complaining... Oops, one more thing: It pisses me off so much when someone has a headlight out so they turn on the brights in their one good light.
A lot of little things like that piss me off and Patrick and I are in the process of making a website for no other purpose than for everyone to come together and bitch about what pisses them off. We already have a domain name and hopefully the site will be up in a couple weeks. So start compiling your lists of what pisses you off. I'll post a link here when its done.
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